Do you sometimes feel that you agree to do things you actually don’t want to do? Do you say things because you think that’s what you’re supposed to say, but that you don’t actually mean?

In order to be accepted by others, we often feel the pressure of conforming, being a certain way, saying certain things, acting a certain way.

The problem is of course that the more we don’t act like our true authentic self, the more we become someone we are not, which eventually leads to a feeling of unhappiness.

If you want to know how to be yourself all the time without having to worry about what others think of you, keep reading!

I compiled the 6 best ways that will help you be your authentic self:

 

1- Discover your goals and dreams

What would you want to achieve in your life? What is important to you?

What do you want to achieve? What do you want to accomplish?

Maybe there is a cause that is dear to your heart, maybe you dream of being self-employed, maybe you want to work with animals…

Take time to reflect on what you really want to do with your life.

Take time to get to know what you really want to experience in your life. 

You might not know the answer yet, which can cause you not to be yourself.

Our dreams and goals are an expression of what our soul wants! 

How do you discover your dreams and goals?

Take time to reflect on the things you truly enjoy doing or go discover those things if you don’t know yet what they are! 

     > Get out of your comfort zone

Getting out of your comfort zone is an efficient way to understand yourself and what you like to do. Plus as a bonus, the more you will dare to get out of your comfort zone, the more self-confident you will be! 😊

If you want to know how to get out of your comfort zone, read the next paragraph that is dedicated to that topic. 

Having a clear idea of what your goals and dreams are will greatly help you to be yourself, as they will be constantly guiding you to follow your path.

Of course, just like your values, your goals and dreams can change in life. And that’s okay. So don’t be afraid of evaluating again those when you feel that you don’t pursue those with the same passion you used to have. 

2. Get out of your comfort zone

For the longest time, I thought being myself meant staying home for the most part, in a “hermit mode”.

Why?

Well, because that’s something I actually enjoy doing a lot being an introvert by nature. However, the consequence is that I didn’t get out of my comfort zone: I seldom tried new things, I didn’t really have hobbies…

I was just too stuck in my comfort zone. However, I didn’t see any problem with that because I genuinely thought I was being myself.

However, a few years later, I realized that contrary to what I thought, I wasn’t being myself. My true self was just covered up with the fear of getting out of my comfort zone. 

It required me to get out of my comfort zone for me to truly be myself, for me to truly discover myself.

That meant trying out new things, new activities, new hobbies, considering other career paths..and by getting out of my comfort zone, I discovered new things that I had been missing on, just because I was too comfortable staying in my comfort zone. 

 

How can you get out of your comfort zone?

     > Let go of your fear of the unknown

You might notice that sometimes, you feel like doing something, you are attracted to trying something.

Maybe it’s a new sport, a new hobby, trying something different, trying a new job…however, fear-based thinking might prevent you from going for it. 

The fear of meeting a new group of people, the fear of not succeeding, the fear of not linking it, the fear of not being good enough..fear can result in preventing s from trying something new.

However, you should let go of that fear getting in the way. 

When you feel like trying something new, that’s a sign of your true self trying to come out.

That’s why you should not resist it!

Accept it and simply go for it, without letting fear get in the way! 

     > Go for that hobby

Is there a hobby that you have been meaning to try for a long time, but never really dared to go for it because you were too afraid of getting out of your comfort zone?

Now it’s a good time to try it!

“Experience life in all possible ways –good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter. Experience all the dualities. Don’t be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more mature you become.” – Osho

 

3. Don’t be afraid of expressing yourself

If you constantly tell an opinion just to please others or to fit in, you will never be able to be yourself.

If you never state your true opinion, you simply can’t be yourself. 

I know it can be hard to share one’s opinion, especially if it’s slightly different than others.

Sometimes, not speaking out or even stating something we don’t believe in seems easier. It seems easier because it enables us to fit in, and not to have to justify ourselves.

Because we are afraid of not fitting in, because we are afraid of being rejected, we often don’t dare to express ourselves, to express what we think we know about a given topic. 

For example, maybe you are having a conversation about a political matter with your friends.

You notice that all of them seem to be sharing the same opinion about that given matter, so you don’t care to say that you disagree.

Or maybe you don’t like the same kind of video games your friends like, but because you don’t want them to think you are wrong, you just hold back and not share your opinion. 

The problem is that if you are used to never expressing your opinion, you will end up growing apart from yourself in the long run.

You might even end up forgetting who you are deep down.

Plus, other people won’t know who you truly are.

Other people will have a false image of who you, they will never get to know your true self. 

While in some particular cases it’s ok to hold back your opinions because maybe it would not be so appropriate, these situations should remain an exception.

Most of the time, you should be able to express yourself, without fear. 

Read the following paragraph to know how to stand up for your opinion. 

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4. Don’t please others

If you always put others’ needs first instead of yours, you will end up losing yourself.

If you never do what you want to do, you will over time lose control over your life. 

That’s why it’s important to put your needs first to be yourself. And that means not try to please others all the time.

 

How to stop being a people-pleaser?

     > Dare to say no

To be true to yourself, you need to stand up for your choices, for your decisions.

For example, if someone asks you to help him with something and that you can’t or don’t want to help out with, don’t be afraid of saying no.

Check out my decided article to learn to say now without having to feel guilty about it.

 > Stop worrying about what others think

Constantly thinking about what others think can be a trap, depriving you of freedom in your life.

It can prevent you from doing many things.

The fear that others will think something, the fear that others will judge you…

The truth is, others will always have an opinion, will always have something to say about what you do.

Some people just can’t help criticizing, gossiping.

And that is not something you can control.

However, you can decide not to let it affect you, not to let it prevent you from living your life. 

5. Get to know your values

I think that values are an efficient way to reveal who you truly are deep down.

Values are a great way to know who you are because they impact how you behave with others, and they tell a lot about your outlook on life.

The values you live by are a reflection of your identity.

To get to know you values, waht truly matters to you, I suggest that you make a list of your values.

I would advise you to write down in a journal all the values you stand for, and then answer the following questions:

 

• Why is that value important to me?
• Why does it matter?
• How does that value manifest in my daily life?
• How is my personality shaped around that value?
• How does that value manifest in my interactions with others?
• How does that value influence the way I treat others?

When you do that exercise of writing down your values, don’t be afraid of taking it as an opportunity to refresh your values. 

What I mean by that is that maybe you have been living with certain values for most of your life, but now you realize that those values are not ones that really correspond to you.

Now you realize that those values don’t resonate with you anymore. 

Maybe those values don’t resonate with you anymore because they were never really yours in the first palace, but rather your family’s, or maybe your lifestyle has changed and now those values are not so relevant for you anymore.

And that’s completely fine.!

The point here is that you keep in mind that being human beings, we are bound to change.

So maybe that’s now a good time to understand who your present self is, and to let go of old values that no longer don’t correspond to how you see things. 

6. Embrace your uniqueness

Have you noticed that we tend to remember more people that are intriguing, people that are different?

That we tend to remember more people that don’t quite fit it?

And that’s not so surprising.

As human beings, we like diversity.

We appreciate different looks, different opinions, different personalities, different views on life.

Diversity is inspiring. 

In the end, the people that stand out are no superhuman beings.

They are just people who decided to be themselves.

People that stand out are just people that decided to embrace their uniqueness.  

So don’t be afraid to stand out, on the contrary! Be proud and grateful for being different! 

Embrace your uniqueness, and let it out for everyone else to see it and enjoy it!

Being different is not so scary.

If you are surrounded by the right kind of people that are open-minded enough, they won’t judge you for being different.

     > Don’t compare yourself with others

Another way to truly embrace your uniqueness is not to compare yourself to others. If you want to know to do it, check out my dedicated article on the topic name of the article here.

Conclusion: How to be yourself?

So here you go! Here are various ways to discover yourself, and what you stand for. Being yourself is a life-long journey as the experiences we go through make us constantly evolve. So you must go slowly, and take one step at a time. The most important thing is that you keep an open mind and that you remember to celebrate the amazing unique human being you are! 🙂 

 

Which of the tips above will you try to be more yourself? Let me know in the comments below! 🙂 

 

Here are few inspiring quotes to keep in mind to motivate you to be and stay yourself 💪

 

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

 “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

 “Be yourself. Be true to that, to your heart. Patience. See what happens if you step back instead of bounding forward.” – Nora Roberts

 “Best be yourself, imperial, plain, and true.” – Robert Browning

 “It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.” – Andre Gide

 “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 “Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.” – Alan Watts

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